


Almost

by Vargras



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT'S TIME FOR ANGST, Sorry Not Sorry, also featuring aged-up Rex so he can be super supportive and caring for his girlfriend, i love these two so much, on today's episode: Pyra has serious issues still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 01:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vargras/pseuds/Vargras
Summary: Months after the events at the World Tree, a rough night's rest leaves Pyra wondering if she truly deserves what's been given to her in life.





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tbat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbat/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Don't be afraid, you're not alone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957104) by [tbat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbat/pseuds/tbat). 



> It's been entirely too long since I've last written anything seriously, but a combination of Xenoblade 2 as well as some good ol' Pyrex had me inspired. Props to TragicallyBadAtThis for influencing me to do my own take on ANGSTTTTT.

She ran. She ran as fast as she could. As hard as she could. As much as she could will her legs to do so.

_"Why are you running? Why are you protecting this garbage?"_

Her chest burned. Blade or not, she still had her limits, and she had long surpassed them in her frantic attempt to flee Malos. With every step she took away from him, with every step that he took towards her, things grew... fuzzier. Less clear. Was she... forgetting? That didn't seem quite right, her memory was usually quite clear, and yet...

_"We Aegises don't need these things! You want to be free of them as I do!"_

Malos. Malos was doing this. He destroyed, all he ever did was destroy, and it seemed now was no different -- he was destroying her memories. All of it. Everything. Everything she had ever known, everyone she had ever loved. She was steadily finding it more difficult to simply... _think_ of them.

Never had she felt more terrified than now.

"Stop it! I'm not like you at all! I am-"

She was cut off. He had somehow managed to get in front of her and stop her flight. She had been running constantly, running farther and faster than she had ever thought possible, and he just... cut her off. Like it was nothing. Like _she_ was nothing. A wave of his hand and she suddenly found herself frozen in place, unable to move, unable to _do_ anything.

She had lost. As she felt herself be lifted into the air, those dark tendrils began to worm their way inside her heart and mind once again. She tried to force them out, tried to get them to get away from her, but _nothing_ worked. She couldn't hear Mythra. Couldn't sense Siren's presence. She... couldn't even feel Rex's heartbeat, steadily drumming away alongside hers. A small, frightened gasp slipped past her lips as the finality of it all began to dawn on her. She had wanted to die, but... to _forget_ was a fate worse than death.

Fear in her voice, and her vision slowly fading, it was all she could do to beg Malos. "Stop! Stop stealing my memories!"

But to no avail.

 

* * *

 

  
She awoke with a gasp. She was cold. Freezing, even. She was a fire Blade, such a thing shouldn't even be _possible_. Yet she was shivering, trembling, drenched in sweat and breathing ragged breaths.

It... happened again? It happened again.

It had been several months since the events at the World Tree. She's over this by now. She _should_ be over this by now. Malos is gone forever. Elysium is a reality. Everyone is alive and okay, including--

She feels herself shaking. She wills, no, _demands_ that her body calm down. To relax. Yet she can feel her own being begin to betray her. Hot tears begin to well in her eyes, and she feels, hears her own breath hitching in sharp gasps. Her palms dig in, desperate to stop the downward spiral, _but. It's. Not. Working._ Nothing is working, nothing is _stopping_ the pain and fear she felt on that day, when she very nearly lost _everything_. She grabs a pillow, she shoves her face into it, she wants to scream and cry and let everything all out but she _can't_ because she doesn't want to wake--

"...Pyra?"

Her body tenses, her fear suddenly amplified. At the sound of his voice, she loses it. Loses herself. The pillow falls and it's all she can do to keep herself from sliding down and becoming a blubbering mess -- she feels her body quake, the tears streaming down her face, and her lungs ache and burn for air. It's too much for her, it's _far_ too much, it's--

Through it all, she feels him. His arms have wrapped around her, small and frail as she may seem right now, and he pulls her close. The way he cradles her against himself, warm and gentle... she recognizes it. Recognizes the scars that litter his arms and hands, even as he holds her tight. It's... it's Rex. _Her_ Rex. Her Driver, her friend, her...

She reaches the last word yet stops short of it. She doesn't deserve it. Doesn't deserve _that_. Not after all she put him through. Not after what she did to him in Genbu. At Elysium. At the World Tree. Her breathing begins to pick up, a choked sob slowly beginning to work its way out of her, and yet he holds her still. She betrayed him, she left him, she _lied to him_ , broke his very _spirit_ after it all was said and done.

Yet he loved her. Dearly. In ways and to degrees that could not be fathomed nor described.

Somehow the recognition of that hurt her even more. After all the terrible, unspeakable things she had done to him, he loved her. _Still_ loved her. She felt her body move of its own accord, hands bunching up into fists and futilely beating against his chest, sobbing through it all as she fought to remove herself from him. She didn't deserve this, didn't deserve _him_ , didn't--

"Shhh... Pyra, I've got you. You're okay. I'm here."

His arms moved beneath her and she felt herself rise into the air, held as close to himself as he could manage, as close as she would seemingly allow him to hold her. She... was confused. She didn't get it. How... _why_ does he still care so much?

She realizes that this entire time, she has yet to even look him in the eyes. She's afraid. Afraid to have to look at him while she's like this. Afraid for him to even see her in such a state. She shuts her eyes tight and forces her face against his chest, as if hiding herself from his gaze will do anything. The sound of an opening door, and a gentle shut. And... the feeling of a cool breeze. The smell of the open seas.

She's outside. Slowly, ever so slowly, she feels herself begin to sink. She's... down? Down. It's... the dock. It's one of his favorite places. One of _their_ favorite places. A place for the two of them to simply sit and enjoy the comfort of silence and the company of one you trust implicitly. She still feels the choked sobs, still feels the hot tears on her cheeks, yet... feels a hand ruffling through her hair. Gently. Affectionately. Her body begins to rock and sway within his arms, and she hears something that leaves her wide-eyed.

A hum. A tune. A Leftherian lullaby. She'd recognize it anywhere -- his aunt had mentioned that it had been one of his favorites when he was but a child. That he had sung it to the other orphans after he had grown up and when they came to him in the middle of the night, asking him to make the monsters go away. He had sung it for her the first few nights after the events of the World Tree, when both of them were plagued by nightmares and neither of them could sleep. And now... now he was singing it for her. Just her. Slowly, ever so slowly, she felt herself coming down from everything, from it all.

She was... safe. She was safe. She found herself continually repeating that line in her head, so very desperate to make it real, to make it _feel_ real. So long as she was within his arms, she was safe. The will to speak was gradually coming back to her, yet all she could manage was a whisper. "...I'm sorry, Rex."

"For what?"

Pyra tried to gesture, but her arms felt so terribly heavy still. "J-just... everything. I..."

"Pyra, I thought we talked about this. No more apologies, yeah?" He brought a hand to her cheek, gently stroking and wiping away her tears. "You have another bad dream?"

She nodded feebly, and at long last, forced herself to look up at him, and the sight of him very nearly opened fresh wounds -- in the midst of the moonlight and the gentle rolling fog of the Cloud Sea, his eyes almost... shone. She knew he quite possibly had the biggest heart to have ever existed in Alrest, yet the way he was looking at her now... never had she seen them so full of love. So full of care. So full of concern. For _her_. She wasn't worthy of such things -- how could she be?

And yet here he was, embracing her and cooing to her, fighting and striving to protect her just as he always had. Just as he... always would. Surely such things didn't just _happen_ \-- there had to have been some merit to how he felt about her. Right?

"It's fine, Pyra. You're gonna be okay." He gently rocked her within his arms, holding her tight. She needed this, needed _him_ , that much he knew. "Do you... want to talk about it?"

She... wasn't sure just yet. It still felt too sudden, too soon. How many minutes had even passed since she had awoken, nearly screaming? And still those doubts gnawed at the back of her mind, of how maybe Rex _wasn't_ doing this because he truly wanted to, of how maybe she _wasn't_ truly deserving of her happily-ever-after. She had tried to squash those feelings herself, thought she had managed to conquer them again this night, but they were _still there_. Her chest tightened and she very nearly felt the tears begin to flow again, whispering a simple "Why?".

"Why what?"

"...Why are you so nice to me?" Her voice trembled with every word, as she acknowledged the poisonous thoughts that had been eating away at her. "It's... it's just like I told Auntie Corinne. All I ever do is bring you pain and misery. You... you've already had so much of that in your life. I... don't deserve this. Don't deserve _you_. I--"

Her words were silenced with a single finger to her lips, and there was that sweet and tender voice of his. Not angry. Not upset. Simply... worried. "Pyra, what's gotten into you?"

"I _left_ you Rex! Even... even after you promised me that you would always be with me, _I_ was the one that broke it!" Her emotions, already frayed and raw from her own nightmare, had rapidly bubbled to the surface and were running wild. "I left you. I abandoned you. I lied to you. I... I _hurt_ you, Rex. Time and time again, _I hurt you_. Hurt someone I _loved_. But you're still just... so _nice_ to me, and I... I don't..."

"Pyra, Pyra..." His grip tightened around her, holding her to his chest and placing his head right alongside hers so he could whisper to her. "I can't think of anyone more deserving in the world than you, really. When... we first came to Fonsett all those months ago, I don't think I'd ever seen you quite so _happy_ up until that point. I mean, it's just where I grew up at, it's really not a big deal, but--"

"...It _is_ a big deal."

"A big deal now, sure. 'Oh let's go check out the place where the Hero of Alrest lives!'. No one was sayin' that before. And besides, I'm not done. Do you remember when I took you to meet my parents?" He felt her gently nod against his shoulder, and he continued. "I uh... went back later that night. Alone. And I just kinda... gushed about you. A _lot_. Must've been there for a few hours."

"You were... gushing about me?" She felt her cheeks warm a bit upon hearing that. "Rex, you couldn't possibly have--"

"I told them all kinds of things. I told my mum about how nice you were. How you treated everyone so kindly. How you saved my life. How you were... probably the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen." He heard her gasp lightly and chuckled before quickly continuing. "Of course, my dad heard all of it too, but... I just wanted to tell them how incredible you were, and how lucky I was to get to know you. You really _are_ something, you know that?"

"Rex, I..." She was truly at a loss for words. He... had always felt this way. She had no idea that his feelings for her went so far back -- how funny that it should start around the same time as her feelings for him. She wanted to say more, but instead simply slid down deeper into his lap, resting her head against him. "...Thanks."

"Yeah, well... I know how you get sometimes. Really, I think I should be the one worrying about not being worthy or anything -- I mean, you're _the_ Aegis, and I was just some salvager kid from a village no one had heard of."

Her reaction was almost immediate. "Rex, that's not true! I'm... actually incredibly honored and... humbled that you'd ever pick someone like me."

"It was mostly a joke, but... hey, that goes both ways." Rex was grinning, and Pyra couldn't help but be in awe of what he had just caught her in -- he had lead off by singing her praises, then finished with _her own words_ to show her how silly her self-doubts were. She truly couldn't recall when he had become so in-tune with her feelings, but... he _was_ her Driver. It made sense, in a way. "Now then! You think you're feeling up for telling me about what was bothering you earlier?"

Her body shuddered as she sighed, and he feared that he had pushed her over the brink by bringing it up, but such a worry quickly passed when she buried her face in his chest, gently nuzzling it. "I... well... M... Ma..." The words died in her mouth, and she felt the terror in her heart begin to creep up again. But then his hands, those _gentle, strong hands_ _of his_ , began to play with her hair, holding her close to himself as he filled in the blanks.

"Malos. Was it what happened before Morytha?"

Pyra nodded against him, at last drawing enough strength to place one of her own hands upon his chest. "Y-yeah... it was. I just... Rex I was so..."

He gave her a faint smile, that wonderful, radiant smile of his that simply said _'everything will be just fine'_ , and cupped her face with one of his hands. "I know you were, Pyra. And I know how brave you were through all of it. To still put up a fight like that, just 'cause you had a crush on me?"

"R-Rex!" A faint blush crept up on her cheeks, and she couldn't help but laugh a bit. He had become such a tease since their journey concluded, and she found herself tracing circles--or were they hearts?--with one of her fingers into his chest. My, how he had grown... had he always been this way? _Of course_ , she told herself. She had been with him every step of the way, but she supposed she had grown so accustomed to his presence, that she just... never really noticed. After all, Rex was simply... Rex. But... _goodness_ , that growth spurt had hit him _hard_. After all that time of him being shorter than her, now _she_ was the short one. It was amusing, in its own little way, and though she had been awfully fond of Rex before, his development into a young man had very nearly left him the spitting image of Addam.

But of course, he wasn't. He was just himself. Pyra felt herself smile somewhat, her fingers curling against Rex's chest, and she placed her head upon it, if only to hear that wondrous heartbeat. It had always been strangely comforting to her, both when she and Rex were bound by sharing her Core, and even now. She was rapidly recovering, rapidly returning to solid ground after her ordeal, and her voice muffled slightly as she buried her face in Rex. "I... almost lost everything that day. He wanted all of my memories, and it... would've meant losing everyone. Losing you."

"But you didn't." Rex's reply was surprisingly quick, if not... accurate. "He didn't count on us. Or this."

Her Driver gently touched her Core Crystal, and she felt her face flush once more. She... truly didn't know how or why, but in sharing part of herself with Rex, she had unwittingly created a backdoor of sorts -- she was an Aegis and thus constantly collected information from everything, and apparently that had extended _to Rex_. It had allowed her to immediately know his name, as well as what had immediately happened after they had made first contact, but she didn't know it worked both ways. His own memories had readily filled in the blanks left in Malos' wake, and she had returned to him as if nothing had happened. "I know, but..."

"But it doesn't take away the hurt, does it? To... feel like you're losing yourself like that."

She nodded quickly. "No, but... you _are_ right. I... suppose everything turned out okay, didn't it?"

"I mean... beat Malos. Saved the world. Got the girl." Rex almost immediately noticed the intense blush on Pyra's face, chuckling to himself as he did. "Yeah, you could say things turned out okay."

"Rex... you dork." With that, she reached up and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him down for a quick kiss on the lips. "...I love you. You know that, right?"

It had certainly worked. He was just as red as she was now. "Y-yeah... love you too, Pyra."

And so they sat in silence on the dock, on _their_ dock. There's naught but the sound of crashing waves against the shore and distant gulls as they fly through Fonsett's night skies, and she wouldn't trade any of it for the world. _How strange_ , she thought to herself, _to only know how much you truly have after almost losing it all_.

The sounds of the night and the feeling of Rex's presence around her is enough to have her nodding off. She's safe. She's home. She's... loved. She feels that fire light inside of herself once more and wraps an arm around her Driver, pulling herself against him. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Rex."

"...You know, that goes for you too, Pyra." He stands, easily holding her as he does-- _has he always been this strong?_ \--and gives her that look that she knows and loves so much. "You ready to get back to bed?"

"Bed sounds... lovely right now." She never realized she was this tired, but the gentle sway of Rex's steps as he carries her is almost enough to put her right back to sleep. "Just... promise me something, Rex?"

"Yeah?"

"...Never let me go."

There he was with that smile of his again. "I'd never dream of it."

And with that, the door to their sleepy little home shut behind them.


End file.
